Here’s a reality—with a big problem: In many relationships, at home and at work, opposites attract. But here’s the problem: Soon, they start doing opposite things! While people initially complement each other and bring out positive aspects of the other person, their differences almost inevitably lead to conflict.   

One behavior in which a lot of duos differ is Self-Critical tendencies, which we measure with our Self-Critical rating in our Teamalytics* assessment. And to be clear, when I use the term self-critical, I’m not as much referring to people who desire to excel as much as people who can beat themselves up internally and whose self-talk can go negative more quickly. 

Differences on this can lead to big conflict, with a more self-critical person feeling wounded by comments from a less sensitive type. On the other hand, the less self-critical person can become frustrated that any imperfectly worded comment ends up leading to hurt feelings or tiresome apologies. 

Questions for those of you who are “Lower Self-Critical” People: 

1. How well do you see that higher Self-Critical people are beneficial in that they possess strengths such as: Sensitive, Accommodating, Humble? 

1. How well do you see the risks of your lower Self-Critical tendency such as: Deflecting input or blame, Not self-reflecting enough, Intimidating certain people?  

Questions for those of you who are “Higher Self-Critical” People: 

1. How well do you see that lower Self-Critical people are beneficial in that they possess strengths such as resilience, self-reliance, more comfortable taking risks, and less bothered by self-doubt?                       

1. How well do you see the risks of your higher Self-Critical tendency such as: holding onto mistakes, more self-doubt, taking input personally, avoiding conflict/tension? 

  The reality is that both groups can be incredibly complementary and can foster growth in the other extreme…if we’ll let them. 

  *This is a sample of some content covered in the Teamalytics Initial Team Workshop. 

  Team Leaders, try this with your team! 

Have everyone read the content above and discuss the following: 

1. Would you say you lean toward being more Self-Critical; in what way? 
2. Who is someone different from you in this area who can be a good balance for you?

Dr. Chris J White is the Chief Science Officer at Teamalytics. In each edition of Teamalytics Blog, he will leverage his coaching of over 15,000 executives and his PhD in Statistics to bring you actionable insights to help with the people challenges in your workplace and life. Bio Here