The term “self-help” has baggage with a lot of people—even me! It can connotate an unhealthy obsession with toiling to be different. Or it can represent a sincere desire to be better. However you see the term self-help, I suspect you would agree there are some dangers that should be avoided in your personal growth journey. Here are four in particular to be careful of:
- Focusing only on what’s wrong (aka not embracing your strengths!)
It may seem efficient to focus solely on what you can improve on, but it is still misguided to ignore your strengths. I tell my clients all the time to celebrate, utilize fully, and reflect on their strengths! It’s a huge—and healthy—part of anyone’s growth journey!Pop quiz: Do you read your Strengths section every time you look at your Traction Plan? I hope you said yes!
- Over-comparing yourself to others
You’ve probably heard it said that comparison is the thief of joy. It’s true! There can certainly be healthy comparisons, but it’s easy to push this too far. Make sure your growth is focused on simply being better and not endlessly comparing yourself to someone else. - Not celebrating who you are (aka losing your uniqueness!)
I tell teams frequently that we need to celebrate behavioral diversity. Maybe you see things differently or have a different style than the norm. If so, good! I have to remind myself of this fairly often—I don’t always fit the mold either. This reality leads me to a choice: 1. Feel guilty and isolate myself, or 2. Choose to smile about the ways I am wired. I’ll try to keep picking #2! - Using guilt as a motivator
Let me be blunt: I do not like guilt and shame! No exceptions, nope, just don’t do it. Strive to be better, yes. Live in the past and pile negative emotions onto ourselves, no!
I would love to see more people redeem the self-help term and ensure that we are doing the good version of it, not the dangerous one.
Dr. Chris J White is the Chief Science Officer at Teamalytics. In each edition of the Teamalytics Blog, he will leverage his coaching experience with over 15,000 leaders and his PhD in Statistics to bring you actionable insights that help address the people challenges in your workplace and life. Bio Here